We all believe in the same One God, we all believe Jesus is our Lord and Savior, so what's different? I had a lighter view of this at some point. Family members were converting from Catholicism to other Christian churches. I admired the strength they had in their faith, their tenacity. Then I had a friend ask me to help with praise and worship for a church they are newly starting. In my head, I'm still serving God, so what's the big deal? The church was a fair commute (I will not specify) from my house. But I had no desire to give up my Catholic faith. So I would go to the early Mass then drive to this other church to help set up for service.
I'd like to say that they were all nice people. I had nothing against any of them and still have nothing against them as people. The pastors were a married couple and their children whom I had met were also lovely. They became good friends at the time and I enjoyed spending time with them. But the services were starting to weigh on me.
My whole life I was surrounded by nuns, having gone to a Catholic school run by them for eight years. Skirts were down to the knees. No make-up. The nuns themselves were the traditional view people have of nuns being Carmelite, clad in brown from the veil on their head to the ankles, wearing black socks and black shoes. The stark contrast from that to seeing the wife pastor dressed in a very tight fitting outfit, albeit still to the knees so nothing too short, brightly colored and bright red lipstick with gold bracelets, I was taken aback to say the least. Granted none of the clothes that I saw were anything high-end brand name that I can remember. But it was definitely a different kind of uniform from what I was used to seeing of the religious around me. The husband was always dressed in slacks with a button up shirt.
If that wasn't alarming enough, the message that they were giving was about abundance. Not abundance in heaven, but abundance on earth. Perhaps they were trying to appeal to the crowd they wanted. But they were preaching that God would give them their nice houses and nice cars, and would provide them the financial stability to do so. In my heart this message never sat well with me. As I heard them say these things my thoughts were, "Jesus always preached about humility and sacrifice; that the poor on earth would inherit the Kingdom of Heaven."
The more I heard these messages, the more I missed my Catholic community. At one point, going to both was starting to weigh on me, but since I was so involved with this other church. I stopped going to Mass. However, I never once renounced my faith.
One day they decided to do "communion" ; grape juice in a peel-off plastic cup with the bread in a separate peel off compartment. It was the first time I'd seen this. I was hesitant, not knowing the teaching of the Catechism yet on joining other Christians' communion, but somehow it didn't feel right. Then right before the pastor reads from the Bible, he makes a comment "This isn't like the Catholics who just do it as a ritual." Then proceeded to read the same passage from Luke that our priests say during the Communion Rite. This sealed the deal. I was livid. Had they done that today, I would have walked out, but I still wasn't strong enough back then. I stayed, but did not partake. I approached the pastor later and reminded him I was Catholic. He smiled, gave me a half hug, and with the over-the-top enthusiasm, too much to be genuine said, "No, we LOVE Catholics!" This was the defining moment that made me change my view of these pastors forever
That was the last visit for a while. I had gotten pregnant and I wanted my kids to be Catholic. I was hoping my husband would join us for mass. He never wanted to go to this church but was willing to go to a Catholic mass with me every now and then. This comment made up my mind for what was already stirring in my heart.
I saw the beauty in our faith, and the difficulty of our faith. Catholicism is found within. It is not a religion that will pull us off the streets and into the Church. The structure our Church has, to be able to go to Mass anywhere and hear the same readings no matter what country or what language is such a beautiful thing. We are one Church, one Body in Christ. Communion for us is not just a ritual, but truly receiving Jesus physically and spiritually. This was why their "communion" didn't sit well with me. It wasn't right. It wasn't Christ, but a symbol of Him. As a Church we receive Christ Himself. Our priests tie in the readings we hear to our daily lives and the life of Christ, preaching the truth. They don't just say what we want to hear to draw us in but what God wants us to hear to draw our faith out. This kick-started my journey into becoming a stronger Catholic, a journey I am still on, but I've learned to never take for granted.
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